abandonned space.

So, I've been doing much reflection lately.
couple of things have altered in my life.
What I thought would bring me up and show me the light have left me with nothing but darkness and I've got to emerge out on my own.

However, it's not a bad thing if you think of in a positive manner.
Sigh, I used to blog a lot and right now as I type all these, it feels surreal.
A sense of familiarity somehow flushes down my mind, thoughts of secondary school days.

Growing up.
I never thought it was this hard.
I used to look at my parents and wish I were them so I can make my own decisions.
Now, I'd rather stay a baby.

the whole irony in life (:

It's back to single-dom for me.
Being in a relationship is another turning point in our lives.
I'd like to look at it as a learning process.
yes sometimes it may seem like a sick joke to me.
Especially when night falls and the process of going to sleep becomes nightmarish.
Ok not to that extent, just perhaps memories you wished would go away.
Happy memories that makes you smile and when you realise how much you're missing that person, the smile subsequently changes to tears and that's when the battle starts.

Then again, we've gotta have courage, strength and determination.
Live it up!

so cheers to 2011.

and let 2012 be nothing but more awesome than the past yr!

Did some of my resolutions, kinda satisfied with it.

went gaga over the aber combie fitch guys w tian just now.
Silly girly moments but it's sth to treasure (:


TTFN!

As for now,

School's gonna start ):

Gottta get my shit together.

Every night before I close my eyes and sleep,

I hate that fucking moment.

You invade my every breathing space.

Tears over tears before I drift into sleep.

It's not easy. Never was, never is.

Inner strength, you're there I know you are. 

prove me wrong, get me strong!

TTFN!

mending yourself.

I WANT TO LOSE ALL INHIBITIONS.

; JUST GO CRAZY.

LOOK INTO MY LIFE & SAY,

I'LL CONQUER. 

THIS IS NOTHING.

COURAGE.

"EH BUT FRIENDS PLS STICK AROUND I'D DIE WITHOUT ANYONE. "

TTFN.

JUST WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST,

you're always not there.

ttfn.

love?

it's not like what the movie depicts.

ttfn.

The other day at esplanade

"expression from the soul"
I admire artistic people,
not those who follow trends.

hey,
have you ever sat down with a cup of coffee and let endless thought flow through your already congested mind.
It's exhausting yet fulfilling.
Thinking makes me feel alive yet at the same time tired.
Sometimes, I get so tired to the point of just NOT CARING.
That's when the attitude beckon problems.
See, vanity , in my conclusion is a good thing.
It drives us to achieve the best.
I'm very depress about the fact that I cannot fit into my jeans I bought a few months back.
And this is driven by the urge of wanting to look good.
It then pushes me to achieve what I want if I really indulge myself into the whole irk I'm feeling.
Sadly, not many people have this driving force.
Many tend to just raise the white flag.
Hence, I carmella Isabelle, promise myself to never give up easily and fine avenues every single time I'm given a problem and deal with them.
Running away has been my forte, It should stop and must stop now.
Now or never.

TTFN!

HELLLLLL YEAH.

whatever,

I wanted to blog about some emo shitto pitto feeling I was feeling,

but you know what,

screw it.

Who'd love a cup of complains?

NO ONE.

But,

if you're bored.

a girl.

& have good friends,

here's what you can do.

Call up your girls,

Ask if anyone's interested in night cycling 

& whack the night with alcohol.

Trust me, you'd have a single one night full-fledged wonderful experience.

And speaking about experience,

yesterday was amazing.

Hung out with olivia and ashraf.

Basically, the 3 of us just walked all over s'pore flyer area and marinna bay sand shopping centre area.

What do you call that place?

Sorry man, No idea what on earth that super high-end mall is called.

One thing, I've never shopped there and secondly, I will ! 5 yrs down the road & a one fine day.

Watch me (:

Instead of chanel for myself,

it'd be,

" HI MUMMY! see what I've got you! "

hahahahahaa!
okay, I don't know what a 70-80 yr old woman needs a chanel for.

Well, something for me to work towards to.
& to daddy,
"Here's a cartier watch!"
Oh well, even if it does not happen,
Cartier and Chanel would very well be taken over by a good ol' plate of char kway teow,
& somehow, I think my parents will treasure that more than those material stuff I mentioned above.

Pushed mummy for a walk on sat and she refused!
NAUGHTY MUMMY.

Anyway, Thanks ash & oli for listening to my money rants!

and ash for my clinicals worry tmr.

SIGH.

and to you,

you're so upsetting.

UGH.


I was never the selfish sort.
But, I might very well become one.
who knows.

quote of the day;
" WHY MUST HE ALWAYS DO THIS WHEN I'M FRETTING OVER NONSENSE!?!"

TTFN.

xoxo

I love my girlfriends, period.

sometimes you look at life and ask yourself what the hell are you doing.

I did that many times.
Guess what, my answer to every of the above ques is always different.
It's amazing how things fall into places without you knowing it will.
Hence, love without regret.
Give the best.
Our stay here is temporary,
make the best out of it.

Couple of things I'd love to share;
I'll be starting clinical at CGH next week before proceeding on to NUH.
Pretty much planned my life while cleaning up my study area a couple of hours ago.
If things don't change (rarely it will remain the same) that is!
I'll work my way up to be an outstanding radiographer.
Start a business relating to fashion with my sister once I have the capital and she as well. 

Pack my bags and grab whoever to italy once I have the spare cash
provide for my family.
Keep fit & healthy
try parasailing & make new friends in other country.
Marry the man of my life.

As for now,
I need no chanel, gucci or prada to keep me going.
All I need is support from my family and friends.
I guess I've been holding this blame for too long.
Time to let it go.
Start afresh.
And live.
I'm a people person,
without people, I'll die.
yet again, I appreciate my own space.

Being 21 is a turning point.

I need the strength.
Physically, mentally and emotionally.

SHOUTOUT/QUOTES!

" MONEY IS A PAIN IN THE ASS "

TTFN.

buenas dias mi amigos

keep a close look on this space,

it'll be fun.

TTFN.